Dirty Money and the Humorous MGA
I turned down $9,000 dollars today; the money had arrived too late.
Sounds like the start of a vengeance themed mobster movie. No, I’m not supplying the lower east side with drugs. But the $9,000 I was offered may have been tainted by addiction.
The story began, as is often the case, while I perused Craigslist. A complete, and straight, 1958 Austin-Healey 100-6 project car was being offered at $12,000. I contacted the seller and offered him my MGA project in trade. He politely laughed hysterically and (between gasps for air) said, “Bring cash”.
So, I put the MGA up for sale for $10k. In receipts for parts I have over $10,500, so I hoped a year of free labor and $500 dollars in free parts might entice someone (cars are not a good investment).
Bizarrely, especially since I’m a bit anti-social, several MGA owners immediately responded to my ad to tell me about their MGA projects. Perhaps they don’t understand what Craigslist is for… or, maybe I don’t understand.
The sense of camaraderie isn’t something I highly value. Might explain my (just) four friends and why I don’t belong to any clubs. Well, I guess I do happily belong to one group, Christians.
One retired gentleman came over to see my MGA. He spent two to three hours talking British cars with me. When I finally stumbled into the house my wife said, “So, you sold the car huh?”
I responded, “Uh, no… why did you think that?”
In utter disbelief, she said, “You talked for that long and he didn’t buy the car?!”
She vocalized what I was thinking.
But, I was secretly glad he didn’t buy the car. The man was a retiree, presumably on a relatively tight budget, and during our car talk he admitted that he owned seventeen other cars in various states of disrepair.
While the devil on one shoulder chanted, “He’s perfect, sell him the car”, the voice from the other shoulder said, “Do not enable this man’s car addiction, he needs to be able to afford food”.
Yesterday, the man with the Austin-Healey 100-6 contacted me to tell me the car had sold. I turned my MGA advertisements off and resolved to complete my MGA.
Then, this morning, as I was working on the MGA, the car addict retiree showed up, unannounced, with cash-in-hand to buy my MGA.
I turned his money away. I told him “No, I’m sorry; it’s too late”.
And, you know what?
He thanked me for it. He told me he wasn’t sure he should buy my car and he was glad I wouldn’t sell it.
MG ownership has always afforded me entertaining moments.
Back when I owned a MGB, every guy with a mullet and denim jacket wanted to talk about the one he used to own. I started worrying I might develop an affinity for denim, so I sold the MGB and bought a MGA coupe.
The state built a highway in our front yard, so I sold the MGA coupe to help us move. But I missed the MGA, so when a cheap roadster project (more like a pile of random parts) popped up, I bought it.
Working on a MGA isn’t without humor. As evidenced by the clown show I put on for our animals the other night.
My wife was out-of-town, so I decided it was the ideal evening for heating my ring gear in the kitchen oven for installing it. This round gear slides over the flywheel so tightly that it holds itself in place. It must be heated, and expanded, to slide into place. As it cools, it locks in place.
Thinking I was smart, I had previously decided that shrinking the flywheel would also help; much to my wife’s surprise, the flywheel spent a week in the freezer before the big night.
I heated the ring gear in the oven and rushed it to the frozen flywheel. The big frozen flywheel instantly cooled the small hot ring gear. I couldn’t even get the ring gear over the edge of the flywheel.
There was cursing.
Soon, they were both back at room temperature.
I heated the ring gear again. 30 minutes in the oven, at a normal oven temperature of 400, and it still wouldn’t even begin to mount on the flywheel.
More cursing. I mentioned no one was home, right?
So, I decided to max out the oven; I remember thinking, “Guess we’ll see if the oven can handle it”.
Thankfully, the cheap oven heat filaments didn’t pop (I’ve had this happen before), and thirty minutes later I was able to get the ring gear half on the flywheel before it cooled and locked itself in place.
There was more cursing.
So, I threw the ring gear and flywheel in the oven for 45 minutes, then beat the ring gear on with a big hammer.
Finally, the ring gear seated in the right place.
Then I poured oil all over it.
Most instructions say, “Don’t allow even a fingerprint of oil on your flywheel.”
The MG instructions say, “Pour oil on your hot ring gear so it doesn’t become brittle from cooling too fast”. As if I hadn’t already cooled it too fast with that frozen flywheel fiasco. We’ll see how long the ring gear lasts.
I did have the flywheel machined down after mounting the ring gear, so it went into the car oil free; that will probably last for about one minute of run time with a MG engine rear oil seal.
Today I spent an hour trying to get the brass spigot off my engine, only to discover it was fine and I put it right back on. But yes, the MGA has a spigot that looks just like the one on your house (only brass) for draining the antifreeze.
Maybe I should run water without antifreeze in my engine. My car’s not going to freeze in my insulated garage, and if there was only water in the motor, I could use the spigot for hot tea water while motoring.
Some of the eccentricity of the MGA seems lost to MGA owners. We accept things as normal that really aren’t; for example, last week I went and bought a sheet of plywood so I can make my floorboards.
The other MG owners are very kind though. The MG forums are filled with friendly people wanting to help. And there’s some guy that tries to sell Amsoil on every forum posting. MG people aren’t very friendly to Amsoil man; I’ve begun to wonder if he really sells Amsoil or just likes to incur the wrath of the MG forumites.
Forum poster – “Does anybody know how to loosen the left rear wheel arch bolt?”
Amsoil guy – “No, but I’m sure if you used Amsoil it’d come out easier. We offer a full product line to meet your needs. Buy Amsoil from me.”
Other users – mass derision and rebuttal of Amsoil’s reputation and their pyramid-scheme sales structure.
Sales. I’ve been buying so much little crap. Never buy a car made from parts. There will be so many parts missing even if all the big things are there.
You wouldn’t believe how many little fittings, specific nuts, brake line bolts, etc. that there are on a car.
Recently I ordered $700 dollars in little things the car was missing. It was nearly two hundred items (P-clips, door hinge screws, elongated fender washers, hood latch pin, door strikes, etc.).
When I made my order, I forgot to buy the seatbelts and I wanted free shipping on those too, so I called in (one hour later), to add it to the order. They told me the warehouse had already started packing my box and the only way to add belts (and get free shipping) was to cancel the order and re-order everything, this time with the seatbelts. They couldn’t reach the guy in the warehouse to tell him to add two belts.
Before he re-packs the parts, the warehouse guy will probably slip some of them in his underwear, for spite, after having to pack that box twice.
Still, I’m glad it’s an MGA. Almost every part is available and reasonably priced. I think I’ll be into the car about $12k when it becomes road worthy. If I remember right, my “Locost” went over $18k in parts. So that means a MGA is significantly cheaper than a “Locost”, and it bolts together without having to invent every part and connection. Perhaps the MGA should be called the “Locost” car.
Also in the MG’s favor, it’s so much easier to explain when someone asks “What is it?”
You just say, “It’s an MG”, and they tell you all about their hair-dresser aunt or odd (denim jacket wearing) uncle that used to have a MGB.
So, I’m pressing on with the MGA. There’s no Austin-Healey in my garage. Nor is there $9,000 dollars in my pocket. Instead of money, I have the sometimes-humorous MGA residing in my garage.
I’m at an age where I’m wanting to grasp at the meaning in life. So, before I end my pointless car tales, here’s a reminder that I’m 100{aa25fa8b82bb550df44f4514fef8e475020994699e2c082d49d75b275e3029cc} sure that God loves us so much that he sent his son to pay the punishment for our sin, so that we could be pardoned for our sins and reconciled to (a good) God who couldn’t hang out with sin. You only have to believe and accept the work that was done on the cross, for you, by Jesus. Then you’re taken in as family. I’d highly recommend it.
Here’s a picture of my Locost my daughter drew for Father’s Day –
